Monday, March 24, 2008

monday rounds

Attending: any new patients?

Resident #1: no sir, we are having no new patients today morning.
Attending: what about Mrs. Blah blah blah?
Resident #1: this patient is well, she is ready to go home to the hospice.
Attending: she's going home then?
Resident #3: no sir, she is going to the hospice.
Attending: home?
Resident #1 and 2: to the hospice, sir. The hospice.
Attending: home hospice?
Resident #2, 4 and 5: no sir, she is having the care of the inpatient hospice.
Attending: ah, so she's going home then. Very good.
Resident #3 and 1: to the hospice, sir.
Attending: what about this patient?
Resident #1: which patient?
Attending: this patient.
Resident #5: ah, that patient is doing very well. She will probably go home tomorrow.
Attending: to hospice then?
Resident #1, 2 ,3, 4 and 5: no sir, she will be having the discharge to go home not to the hospice.
Attending: home hospice?
Resident #4 and 3: no sir, she will be having her discharge to go home.
Attending: very good. Has the social worker talked to her about home hospice?
Resident #2 and 5: no sir, this patient will be taking the chemotherapy
Attending: which patient?
Resident #4 and 3: this patient.
Attending: this patient?
Resident #3: no, that patient.
Attending: you there, student, did you do your presentation?
Me: ahh.....yes....I did
Attending: did you do it then?
Me: yes, I did it.
Attending: very well. 
Me: .......????
Attending: did you do it?
Me: yes I did it.
Attending: okay then, hurry up. Quick.
Me: okay then....um....today I'm going to be talking (briefly) about pancreatic neoplasia, focusing primarily on adeno-
Attending: have we seen this patient today?
Resident #2: which patient?
Attending: this patient.
Resident #5 and 2 and 3: no, not yet.
Attending: lets go see her then, right now. Let me write this note first.
Me: um, sir?
Attending: what?
Me: don't you mean this patient? 
Attending: what do you mean?
Me: you're writing in that patient's chart. Here, this is this patient's chart.
Attending: ah, very good. Have you done your presentation?