It pretty much starts on Halloween: seemingly innocuous orange pumpkins heralding a fun sized Snicker's-Starburst-M&M-KitKat-MarsBars induced metabolic acidosis. Before you can unbutton your pants or reach for the mumu, there's Thanksiving --- a nationally sponsered exercise in holding the thin line between laying catatonic on the couch and eating your body weight in sweet potato pie. And gravy. And sweet peas. And butter. And corn bread. And apple pie. At midnight. Because the 8:30 pm slice just wasn't enough. Really. I need more. Beyond this, there is no feasible plan. All attempts of resistance are in vain. The battle has been lost. You are now deep in: ice cream sundae this, chocolate cake that, toasted bagel with butter here, four slices of pizza there. And it takes until somewhere in the neighborhood of January 5th (to put a rough estimate on it) before you're so sick of yourself you can barely stand it.
Really. It's disgusting. Oh look, time for a burrito.
